Thursday, December 20, 2012

Feeling defeated...

I am so exhausted all because of something my husband did today.  He didn't mean anything by it, I don't think, but it still struck a chord and beat me down.  He said, "Was there anything you had wanted to do before we got married but you didn't?"  Which wasn't the thing that he said that made me frustrated.  When I answered that I wanted to have gone to and finished school, he then said, "Okay, and what would you do after that?"  He wouldn't leave the subject alone.

He kept asking me, "And then what?  And then what would you have done?"  And the tone was like he was angry with me, but in my head I'm going, "I KNOW I'VE FAILED AND DIDN'T DO WHAT I SAID I WAS GOING TO DO."

I dropped out of college so that I could work.  I was told either work or go to school (by my boss) and I needed the money because I needed money to go to school.  It was a lose lose situation and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't go, "Wow, I wish I were still in school."  But being reminded and having someone sit there and drill you doesn't help.  At all.

Trust me.  It's so beyond frustrating because I would have been able to go to school and work had I not needed to move out.  Keep drilling it, I already feel like crap over this and you're not helping by continuing to bring it up.

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